Lunastar Journal

[Washue]

Sat, 16 May 2009 14:56:29 GMT

Dear Journal,

Much has happened since I last wrote on you. I will try to remember everything that happened and in what order it happened. I'm a bit busy preparing for my Birthday Party next week, though, so I may have to stop and come back later.

I spoke with my parents about Northrend after the meeting that the Zephyr Crew had last fall. I was still too inexperienced to do much of anything, so I wasn't allowed to even go to Outland, let alone Northrend. Poppa suggested I do more on Kalimdor to help out. So I did. I went to Feralas and then to Felwood and then to Un'Goro and then to Silithus. My trainers suggested that because I was so good with animals that maybe I could try some of the larger ones that most hunters, even experienced ones, lack the skills to tame.

**A carefully drawn picture of Washue with her rifle in one hand and her wolf Squirrel at her hooves. They're in a jungle setting, looking a bit worse for wear because of their trek perhaps. Washue is feeding a large hunk of meat to a Devilsaur who is several feet taller than her. In the back ground, through the trees you can see two large pairs of eyes and a very large mouth. Perhaps that's momma checking on her baby to make sure he's okay.**

I went to Un'Goro first. Miss Caeryn thought I was crazy. Bloodaxe yelled at me, but when he realized I wasn't going to turn around, he told me he'd meet me there so he could help. I didn't want to hurt his feelings by telling him that there wasn't anything he could do to help, so I agreed that it would be nice to have him along. We never really do things together and for once he wasn't off killing things, so it was nice to have him along.

I found a beautiful Devilsaur with bright blue eyes and blue stripes on black. He was a little grumpy at first, but once I fed him a lot of meat, he calmed down. His name is very complex, so I asked if I could call him Stompy. He agreed that it was a rather nice name.

I then decided that the best way to prove myself once and for all was to tame something unique. When I was in Ratchet I heard some Alliance people talking about a creature that lives in a cave. They said he's flaming, that he breaths fire and that he's white with red eyes because he lives in darkness all the time. They said that the white furblogs there do their best to keep him away form their people by sending in sacrifices so he doesn't get so hungry that he comes out to look for food.

**A carefully drawn picture of Washue with her rifle over one shoulder and her wolf Squirrel at her hooves. They're in a cave with stalactites and stalagmites all around. There's a pool that's shimmering orange from the torch Washue has staked into a crack in the cave floor. With both hands Washue is tossing pieces of steak to a furry white creature with two heads. He is burning with white fire and both sets of eyes are deep red.**

When I got to the Draenei lands it didn't take Squirrel and I long to find the cave the furblogs watch, it had giant stakes all around it to try to keep the beast within. And it looks like they force the owlkin there to be the creature's food. So I went inside with Squirrel and we found the white creature. He looks like a smaller version of Omen in the Moonglade. He seemed rather puzzled we were there, but once he smelled the food that didn't have feathers all over it, I don't think he cared. I had two full bags and he was still hungry so I had to promise him that when we got back to Mulgore that we'd get him a kodo to eat. The two head seemed content with that, so I asked him his name. He didn't seem to understand, just kept insisting he was he and no one else. Though he has two heads, he seems to think of himself as only one animal. So I asked him if it was okay if I called him Fuzzy. He didn't seem to mind. And it turns out he likes to be scratched on both of his heads behind his ears.

Momma wasn't pleased with all of the mouths to feed, but I promised her I would make sure they were all taken care of so she didn't have to do any of the work. She agreed to that as long as I didn't forget I had lost of other animals I rescued and was taking care of. I told her I asked some of the villiage children to come and feed and play with them when I didn't have the time. And that's not all that often anyway. Momma seemed happy with this and even a little proud. She gave me a hug and said she was happy to see me so grown up in only a year.

The next day I took Fuzzy and Stompy to my trainers in Thunderbluff. They were all surprised and even pleased with my taming of them, though I made sure to insist that they were really just my very good friends. I don't think the trainers understand what I mean, but I guess that's to be expected. Most people look at me funny when I call my animals my friends and when I talk to them.

So my trainers agreed that I was ready to try my hand at Outland and to help the Horde there. I was gone for about two months. I'm not sure why it was so hard to be in Outland, but I think a lot of it had to do with me realizing it's an entirely different planet and that the only way to get home is through magic. If that magic is gone, there is no other way to find my way home.

Fuzzy liked Outland more than Squirrel or Stompy, so I took him with me the most. Stompy seems to like the waters around Ratchet best, but I have to make sure he doesn't scare the goblins while he's there fishing. It looks like Squirrel had another litter of puppies with his mate while I was gone too.

When I came back the Orcs in Ogrimmar said that I did good, so they gave me a worg to ride. She's very pretty and very nice; she said her name is Sky. I'm not sure why it's sky, but it's still pretty.

I'm going to stop here, but I'll be back. There's still much to say about Northrend and Keowuk and my next Birthday Party.

Sincerely,

"Little" Washue Ravenhoof

[Sorra]

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 22:07:55 GMT

I've been sitting in the dark for the last hour trying to make a decision. I just can't seem to.

The other night Lucean and I found one another in Nagrand. I have fond memories of our first few nights spent there talking. That he remembers them fondly as well makes my heart ache. He asked me to spend a few days with him. I told him I'd spend as long as he liked, as long as he wanted me. He told me he might keep me for a long time and still not get tired of me. It wasn't a confession of love, but it's the next best thing coming from Lucean.

When I left him last night, I promised we'd meet up again soon. And I was eagerly watching the time, almost too restless to do my work, counting down the seconds like a giddy school girl waiting for her first date. Then I encountered Braedin. He's a Blood Knight Master I've met a few times. He recently had his heart broken and he's prone to mood swings, but over all I think he has his heart in the right place even if said heart is too soft for his own good. He took it upon himself to tell me that he saw Lucean kissing another woman and that they took off together into Eversong.

I'm ashamed to say my first emotion was anger at Braedin for telling me. He'd ruined my happiness in one fell swoop. That anger shifted to Lucean rather quickly. And the first coherent thought I had was, "Not again". Only this time it was just being torn apart or abandoned. It was someone I cared for seeking pleasure with someone else.

I came close to losing my patience with Braedin. He was more upset than I was over it. He's still not over his wife's betrayal. Apparently she betrayed him more than once. He offered to hug me and I had to tell him not to touch me. I would have frozen him into a block of ice if he had, my emotions were that unstable. And truly I wasn't sure I wanted another man to touch me ever again. I was so enraged. Braedin offered to do anything he could for me. I told him simply to stay away from Lucean. Lucean may be gentle with me, but I fear if he were provoked he would kill Braedin and I don't think I could handle that. I don't think I could handle Lucean having innocent blood on his hands.

I left Braedin, still more upset than I. I went to the Undercity and asked Lucean to find me there. I tried reading in their library, but I couldn't see straight and their books smell like a moldering tomb. Lucean arrived and I asked him directly if he was sleeping with another woman. He said there'd been no one else since he'd been with me or even a bit before. He did admit, however, that he came close with a woman who was a former lover.

I'm such a bloody damn FOOL!

He was so genuine and so HONEST. I believed him. I believed everything he said and _I_ was the one apologizing to HIM. He told me that I didn't need to, that it was his fault and he did say he was sorry. He said*teardrops mar a good bit of the page*

*continued after the smeared tears have been blotted away*

He said that I am the most important person in his life. That I've done something for him that he believes he can never repay me for. He said that though he can't love he thinks that I can help him return those emotions and the I'm the one person he could love.

I want that to be true so much it makes my bones ache; my very soul is screaming, "Yes, YES, I want that to be true, please, LOVE ME!" And then my analytical thoughts struggle to the surface and say, "You're a bloody damn fool, Sorra." Those thoughts have Elisabeta's voice and manner of speaking apparently.

He's telling me the truth. He was honest with me about what happened with that woman. At least, I believe he was. He's always been honest as far as I can tell. There is this part of me, however, that is afraid to be walked all over yet again.

Lucean gave me a beautiful ice pendant last night. He formed it with his breath and magic. I put it on a silver thread and he tied it around my neck. It sits like a loose choker, nestled in between my collar bones. He said it's resilient, yet fragile and would melt on anyone else's skin. He's right. There aren't many woman who are ice cold to the touch that aren't dead.

I was being truthful when I told him he was the most selfless person I know. It surprised me that I made him blush. Just a little, but still. I wanted to forget all the upset, all the anger and pain, so I turned on my brazen mode and whispered that I wanted to see if the blush covered his whole body. That set the blush deeper across his pale skin. He came willingly though and I was finally able to show him the black mageweave outfit I'd made.

That was all hours ago. I'm still no closer to my decision.

I desperately want to believe Lucean. I want his love. Now that Elisabeta is gone I feel more alone than I have in years. Before, when she was missing, I always knew she was alive and that I'd see her again. Not so this time. She's never coming back. Am I trying to keep Lucean because I'm afraid to be alone? How pathetic if that's true. How utterly sad.

I care for him. But I'm also afraid that my love won't be enough. And yet... I can't give up on him. He seems to truly want his emotions back. And once he has them, will he still want me?

I just don't know. And truly, I'm enough of a coward right now to decide that I don't care. I'll stay with him for now. What else can I do? I love a dark knight and regardless of anything else, love is what will keep me here until he sends me away.

Elisabeta's voice is still telling me I'm a bloody fool.

Loss

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 04:34:09 GMT

Elisabeta and I met when we were so young. She had it all together on the outside and I didn't. Yet on the inside, I knew the path that would lead me where I wanted. Unfortunately for Sabe, she didn't have a clue. We've known one another for a hundred years and yet, in all that time, she never opened up to me about her parents and what happened to them. I pieced it together, but it still wasn't the same as her trusting me with her parent's deaths. Instead, she trusted me to be her one confidant and that, more than anything else, told me she was a true friend.

I was foolish to think that working near the Blue Dragon Flight in their current, deranged state, would pose no threat to myself. And though I always worked with others, it took merely one moment of inattention for me to be kidnapped. They were rough, but not to the point of death--they needed me alive so they could suck my magic from me. It will take me some time to recover from this. I'm not certain I ever will again to be honest. There are so many things I've now forgotten~

*ink blotch*

Elisabeta came, however. I some how knew she would. She came and she pulled me out of the prison they held me in. She pulled me onto her windrider and we took off for Warsong Hold. I honestly don't remember much of what happened, but we were blasted apart and I pulled out the stupidest, most worthless, yet life-saving spell of them all: slowfall. And yet, I couldn't find Elisabeta until she was too far away. She was dashed against the rocks on the shoreline. I touched down a mile away, but I swam anyway. I was so desperate to get to her I ignored everything, including a broken ankle, until after I found her body.

I polymorphed her body so I could carry it. I hobbled to the Amber Ledge and colapsed there. A few days later I woke in Dalaran. They had a ceremony for Elisabeta. Because she was a corporal and on her way to becoming an Argent Champion, several officers were there to pay their respects.

She's buried on my estate now. I planted a willow near her grave in her memory.

*tear drop*

I will miss you, my dear friend. I will never forget your sacrifice, I swear it. I hope you've finally found peace.

And now the part I dread. Informing Jakaresh of her death. This won't be easy, but it's something I must do.

The New Adventures of Washue and Squirrel

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 06:27:34 GMT

AKA: Washue and the Stompy Dinosaur

Eye to her rifle scope, "Little" Washue Ravenhoof stared down the slope of the small volcano she was belly down on. At her side lay her ever present friend, Squirrel. The worg's shaggy red coat was smeared with ashes and dirt, just as his master's chain mail and leather gear was. Behind the pair squatted a large orc in dark, hulking armor; he was motionless save for the darting of his eyes behind his plate helmet.

"Do you see one yet, Washue?" Bloodaxe said under his breath, his tone low and without cadence.

The young tauren shook her head slowly, long black braids twitching as she did. After a moment she paused and panned her rifle back in the direction she'd been moving from. "There. Northwest, about nine hundred paces."

With a grunt, Bloodaxe heaved his bulk upright. Washue and Squirrel scrambled to do the same. Squirrel let out a whining growl, the excitement of the hunt to come already boiling in his blood as evidence by his wagging tail. Washue grinned down at her friend, her own tail twitching in excitement, and patted his shaggy head. "Good boy, Squirrel. You gotta hang back with Big Brother Bloodaxe though. We're not doing real hunting today."

An almost disappointed growl came from Squirrel at her words, but he seemed happy to be allowed to come along, regardless of the reason for the trip. Washue shot her adopted orc brother a grin, then started loping down the black side of the volcano; her hooves thumping rhythmically as she went. Behind her she heard Bloodaxe's tread, almost as heavy as her own. Squirrel's paws were wide and made for such a decent; they made hardly a sound at all.

In the brilliant gloom and mist of Un'Goro Crater, Washue saw up ahead of them the swaying shadow of the creature they were tracking. Excitement threatened to spill out of her very pores as she tried to keep her pace in check for Bloodaxe's sake.

As the trio ran, Washue couldn't help but grin like a young girl at gift giving time. Finally she was going to tame one of the most terrifying and amazing creatures she'd come across on Azeroth. As they neared she could feel the thumping of the creature's tread vibrate through her hooves and set off a fresh bout of adrenaline coursing through her veins.

"Washue, are you sure about this? These creatures aren't known for their sweet disposition," said Bloodaxe from behind, jarring the young huntress from her thoughts.

"Of course I'm sure! We'll be the best of friends, you'll see!" She grinned over her shoulder at the older orc, her white teeth a startling contrast to the black fur on her face.

They were finally closing in on the thumping footsteps, so Washue motioned for her two companions to hang back behind the creature. Cutting diagonally through the undergrowth, Washue sped up, her time as a huntress paying off as she put on the speed she needed to pass the large creature whom she intended to make friends with. Coming to a halt a hundred paces before the trembling underbrush, Washue laid down her trap and waited, tail and ears twitching with excitement.

The wait was short, soon the dense growth parted to reveal a creature several feet beyond Washue's seven and a half foot height. It's black scales had brilliant blue stripes on them, a startling contrast that had caught Washue's eye immediately. The creature paused and sniffed the air, then turned its head to the side. One brilliant blue eye searched the area then homed in on Washue. Letting out a snarling roar, it charged, maw full of razor sharp teeth stretched wide.

Fierce grin on her lips, Washue beckoned the creature closer. "That's it boy, come say hello! I'm "Little" Washue Ravenhoof and I've come to make friends."

Bellowing another roar, the devilsaur lunged at the smaller creature and found itself suddenly unable to move. Washue laughed softly and reached into the pack on her back, pulled out a strip of meat that smelled slightly old and tossed it at the creature. Distracted by the treat, the devilsaur snapped it out of the air.

"I came prepared too. Lot's of meat here for you. I hope you like deer, it's all I could find." The huntress continued to talk amiably as she tossed the food at the giant lizard. The devilsaur continued to hungrily snap up the morsels even as it eyed the little tauren talking to him.

The next part happened so quickly, Washue wondered how it would have gone if it hadn't been for the meat in her bag. The ice around the creature's feet finally broke. After only a brief pause, the lizard lunged at Washue, teeth bared in a roar. Swinging her bag off her shoulder, Washue tossed the remaining pieces of meat into the devilsaur's mouth. Startled, the creature followed its instinct and stopped to swallow.

As it did, Washue reached out and patted its scaly chest. "Good boy. I think I'll name you Stompy. What do you think of it?" She smile up at the lizard who turned its head to eye her for a moment. And then, happily, it let out a chirping screech.

Giggling her glee, Washue grinned at her new friend. "I'm glad you approve." Reaching out to hug the lizard, she ducked under his playful bite that could have taken off her hand. "We'll work on the eating of things that aren't already dead!"

Bloodaxe and Squirrel grinned at one another from the sidelines, having both almost suffered heart attacks as they watched Washue once again tame what seemed to be the untamable. "I fear what creature she'll get into her head next," muttered Bloodaxe. Squirrel barked his agreement before loping over to meet his newest friend.

[Lanfith]

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 00:22:56 GMT

Love is in the air and it's making me want to empty the contents of my stomach and offer it as a gift of love to anyone foolish enough to approach me with a card that has a cliche red heart on it. There actually have been a few, which is surprising, because you'd think the whole of Stormwind would know by now that I despise humanity as a rule. I also despite elves, dwarfs, gnome, orcs, trolls, undead and any death knight who is pathetic enough to want to be redeemed in the eyes of those idiots, but that's neither here nor there.

And yet I linger in this place. I cannot fathom why except that it's a form of masochistic entertainment I've come to enjoy. However, if at all possible, I'll be avoiding everyone and everything while this foolish holiday abounds.

As time has gone on, my attitude has changed a great deal. I think, once Xyra was "returned" it became clear to me that people are all the same. They'll never change, they'll never stop hurting one another, making fools of themselves and never cease to bring new meaning to idiocy. Perhaps this is a way for me to protect myself, but in all honesty, there is nothing to be protected from.

Last week Gelles showed in Gelki's place. Strange would be putting it mildly, but she worked harder than Gelki ever did. Unfortunately she refused to agree to take Gelki's place. She attempted to refuse pay as well, but I made sure she took the money. Now whether she eventually gave it to the trollop, I don't know nor care.

A face I'd not seen in quite sometime appeared. Miss Tweck. She gave me a hug, which was quite strange. People don't willingly approach me. I patted her in return. She still seems to be the same fiery gnome. It was a pleasant distraction.

Because I'm evil in this manner, I've procured a black love dress and I'll be forcing Gelki to wear it for the tavern tonight. Though I will likely wish to gouge out my eyes the entire night from seeing her half clothed, I'm hoping it will bring in customers.

Tavern Notes:

- Meet goblins at dock to personally over see shipments of Tequila.

- Meet with dwarfs(try not to offend while declining a pint of ale) to discuss Cherry Grog shipments.

- Push older bottles of wine to make room for new stock. Offer a discount on the holiday brew to push it out.

- Pick up a large order of Moonglow from the Lunar Festival before it ends.

[Xyra]

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 00:20:52 GMT

I worked with Crimson Mercury Monday night in order to assist the Cenarion Circle on some shady dealing going on. Turns out a zealous dwarf paladin was attempting to stop the pagan worship.

As we spoke with the woman, I did my best to be diplomatic about the whole affair. She was amiable enough, but I think the woman has a screw loose. She led us to her stash of about three crates of fireworks. I'm pretty sure the most she could have blown up with that was a small house. The crew, especially that damn druid, Al-something, were chomping at the bit to get a piece of her.

The one time I try to be diplomatic, over something that turned out to be hardly anything, and everyone ELSE goes haywire? Gelles was even making sniping remarks about how the Light is pagan worship too.

They were all very pleased with themselves when Shan'do Rabine sentenced Knight Ironstein to banishment from the glade until she's done work for the Cenarion Outpost. Gunny and Oggy went with the paladin back to her place in Ironforge to retrieve the rest of the things she'd bought, booze and festival coins. Gredda said nothing until that was mentioned and then she asked where the paladin lived. If I find out that sneaky dwarf stole those coins, we're going to have words.

The rest of the crew were all cuddled up and looking smug. I glared at them and they had the gall to look innocent. I told them to enjoy their money and stalked off. I had my damn hearth on while I was buying booze and had to hear commentary from the wonder twins, which I cut short by smashing my stone against a nearby rock--much to the disapproval of a nearby druid, whom I gave a dirty look before I vanished with an entire case of moonglow myself. The damn stuff is cheap, but it's also weak as hell. I drank the whole thing anyway.

It's a good thing that the drake I've been working with lately was able to do most of the work the next day on our patrol, I was in too much of a brooding mood. For one thing, aside from a few traded phrases, Tacq and I didn't even talk during that job. Though it was nice to see his smile, even if it was over the fact that Shan'do Rabine used my nickname from when I was a child. I could have killed him and the rest for laughing. Bastards.

I've been taking all of the dangerous missions and leaving Gelles in the dust as often as possible. The woman is driving me insane. I took a night to relax with her, what more can she possible expect from me? I'm fighting a war. You don't just get to stop because you're tired. I'm no veteran, but I'm no slouch either and I'll damn well fight this war until it's over. I'm not a volunteer, I'm enlisted with the reds. I may not be that important in the long run, but dammit that doesn't mean I'll shirk my duty. Gelles is a paladin, she should know why I'm doing this. Then again, judging by her reaction to King Wrynn's degree regarding the Horde, perhaps I should know better than to expect her to understand.

[Sorra]

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 05:19:35 GMT

Over the past month or so Elisabeta has been doing some peculiar things, among these things are talking about someone in the third person without mentioning any names. She still swears like a sailor when upset, which is a relief I suppose, she's still retained some of herself. Her rants tend to center around this man being a know it all and a smug bastard, I'm paraphrasing of course.

I was curious about her behavior, but it seemed to bring back some of her old spark, so I didn't press her for details. She left me a note a few nights ago saying she was finally fit for duty and would be stationed in NOrthrend for the foreseeable future. I shall miss her greatly, but I know it's what she needs to do. She's a soldier and she's fighting for the light and for the future of us all.

Imagine my surprise when a tall and very attractive mage comes to my door. I knew at once this man, Jakaresh Magmacore, was the one Elisabeta had been ranting about. He's tall, handsome by anyone's standards, exceedingly polite(Elisabeta wouldn't appreciate this) and very well spoken. He asked me of Elisabeta's past. Normally I would not have told the things that I did to just anyone, but I snuck a peak at Elisabeta's journal before she left and I truly believe she cares for this man. His questions weren't probing, but more simply out of interest and perhaps some worry over her mental health.

I told him of her past, of the struggles she endured as a farstrider and more recently as a Blood Knight. It would seem that my explinations were able to sate most of his curiosity.

There was one thing about Elisabeta that I did not reveal to him because with the Sunwell being restored, there isn't much difference in who we are as a people; High Elf or Blood Elf, we're only sepreated by loyalty lines now. I'll leave it to Elisabeta to tell him if she truly wants him to know about what she is.

In an effort to perhaps help her in some way know or realize what has caused Elisabeta to avoid relationships all these years since I've known her, I've started looking through the records for all citizens with the Stormweaver name. It's less unique than I first thought, so it may take some time to discover who her parents were. I'm hoping I can gain some information about them. Perhaps I may even find someone who knew them. I hope I can do something to help.

Lucean and I ran into one another in Dalaran the other night. He is determined to embarrass me in public. We've been too busy to see one another more than the occasional visit.. I've missed him. He sent me something rather practical, a gnomish army knife that has so many gadgets I honestly am not sure what to do with it. But the fact that he can make something so complex now tells me he's excelling at his engineering work and is enjoying it. I'm very happy for him.

And now back to my research. After I send Elisabeta a letter.

Letter Sent to Elisabeta:

Dear Elisabeta,

Your beaux, Jakaresh Magmacore, came to visit me recently. He seems very polite, pleasant and well mannered. That he is also handsome and charming doesn't hurt. I cannot tell you how happy I am to see that you've finally found someone to care for and allow in your life. My dear friend, I do hope things work out between you two.

I won't tell you all that we spoke of, but I did tell him some of your past. I realize this may not make you happy with me and for that I am sorry, but I truly believe that he cares and only wishes to help you and to be there for you. He wants to be your equal and at your side to support you.

Elisabeta, if you never do another thing for yourself in your life, please, do this. Give this man a fair chance to be in your life and care for you.

I miss you, my friend. Please be safe as you fight the Scourge.

May the Sun Illuminate You Always,

Sorra

[Lanfith]

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 23:09:39 GMT

I stopped keeping a record of personal things because for the longest time there was nothing personal to detail. Once Gelles rescued Xyra, things were back on an even keel and I could return to my hermit's life. Once I gained a key to the Swinging Chicken I was so busy between my studies and keeping that place well stocked and running smoothly on Wednesdays, that I didn't have the time to detail anything of interest.

Why this is of interest now, I am not sure. As usual Gelki is in top form with her flirtatious ways and her colloquial mannerisms. She flirts with anything that moves, which I allow if only because it proves entertaining for the patrons. Though I've had to reprimand her more than once for making cutting remarks to the patrons. One customer in particular, Miss Jana Alister(??), has been a regular since we opened. She and Gelki banter back and forth, exchanging kisses and generally making me feel like vomiting.

And now the vaguely interesting part--Miss Jana focused on me last night. Gelki has called me that most vile nickname "starky" for ages, but it would seem that Miss Jana was not content with that. She started insulting my height. Being the shortest one in almost all occasions is nothing new to me. Her calling me Sprite, midge and so on merely had me calling her giantess, amazon and the like. She was amused by it, obviously. I am willing to admit I participated merely to see just how many names she could come up with. Almost in desperation, for she'd started to use endearments, I called her Maiden of Virtue.

And she laughed. I've had people laugh at me for years, for whatever various and insanely boring reasons, but she laughed because she was amused by my choice of words. What a strange thing. The night only went down from there. She actually touched me, which I do not like in the least. The entire time Gelki was snickering in the background. If I hadn't been so off kilter I would have cursed her hair to fall out.

The night finally ended and I was determined to gather my tattered dignity and stalk out of the bar. Unfortunately Miss Jana had other ideas and once everyone else was gone, she cornered me. The woman must have twelve inches on my height and while I am no push over, she certainly looks as if she could stomp me into the ground if she wished. She didn't, she wanted something entirely the opposite.

I don't like people. They never say what they mean, they're never honest and they are never do anything unless it's to please themselves. I can only imagine that Miss Jana's desire to touch or even kiss me, was merely to get my goat, as they say. I dislike games. But I can respect that she was at least honest in her reasons for embarrassing me. She is one of those people who simply looks for fun in everything. Which means she is ultimately a selfish creature.

Tavern Notes:

Speak with the bartender in the Howling Fjord to determine his supplier for Cherry Grog and Don Carlos Tequila. If it's cheap enough I will look into investing in both products.
Reorganize the stock, consolidate and push older vintages to clear room for new.
Travel to Shattrath for the next Darkmoon Faire to arrange the next shipment of Reserve and Beer.

[Xyra]

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 23:07:39 GMT

It's a never ending cycle with this war against the Blue flight. Each day my red dragon companion and I fly out to battle the blue dragons. Each day I return, sore and with little spirit for anything else. I travel to Coldarra at times to run dispatches and to determine how things fare. Not much has changed, it's still pretty much a stalemate.

I haven't spoken with Tacq in over a week, not since our brief time in Nagrand. I miss him sorely. I'll take the time after I write this journal to send him a letter letting him know that I'm still alive.

[Sorra]

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 23:07:05 GMT

Lucean has been sending me gifts left and right lately. A red rose because he was thinking of me. A plush worg puppy toy that is so adorably made; it looks like him if he were a worg, it even has a spiked collar and a spiked bracelet around one paw. And then he sent me a mechanical squirrel that he made with his own hands. It's adorable, with shining green eyes and such a curious way about it. I named it Cogs and I'll likely take it where ever I go.

We've been apart for whatever reasons that have come up. I was sent to Coldarra for several days, he's been working on his engineering skills and helping with the efforts in Ice Crown. All in all it's been hard to find time for one another. However, he hasn't allowed that to keep him form showing me that he still thinks of me and still cares. That his interest in his engineering is growing makes me ecstatic as well. He now has one more thing to focus on that isn't death and destruction.

[Xyra]

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:13:13 GMT

Tacq and I had an enjoyable time in Nagrand. I took him to one of the floating islands with a basket bursting with food. He ate almost all of it and said he enjoyed it as well. That made me happy in that small feminine part of me that I tend to crush into oblivion more often than not. When he offered to help clean up I refused and had it done with in seconds. He smiled and said "You're something else, you know that?"

Every time we're together he says or does something that just melts my heart. He said I have the prettiest eyes he's ever seen. Coming from anyone else it would have made me laugh, but from him, with that sincere way he as of speaking, I blushed like a stupid girl. The fact that he doesn't get ruffled when I get myself into trouble, just taking things as they come; it's like I can finally breathe around him.

He told me a story about Eurekaa, how she was learning to be a chef and ended up getting into a baking fight with a succubus and gathering the freshest ingredients from a farmer. It was oddly hilarious. At the end Tacq bemoaned not having the succubus around to make the cherry pie that Eurekaa attempted to learn from the succubus. I told him he could just ask me. He asked if I was seeing a farmer on the side that he didn't know about. I was shocked for all of five seconds and then I punched him in the shoulder. He just laughed and said he'd love anything I might make for him.

Of course, when it was all said and done, we took advantage of the fact that Nagrand is no longer a hub of activity. Even when playful or passionate, the man is so gentle with me it almost breaks my heart. He sees me as a woman, as a person; he doesn't define me by what I do.

I am now back with the red flight, fighting and watching dragons tear one another apart. It's painful to watch, but I know that if I ever want a life with Tacq, then I need to do this now to make sure that life may one day be peaceful.

I had a dream last night that Tacq was playing with a group of young kaldorei children. I watched them use him like a tree, climbing and swinging from him. He was laughing and teasing them, tossing them into the air or swinging them upside down. Eventually they noticed me, these young children of different ages and all at once they shouted, "Momma!" and raced toward me. I was so shocked I woke myself up. And when I did wake up I was shaking. That wasn't a nightmare, but the idea of me being a mother, that my subconscious is thinking of me being a mother, well, that scares the shit out of me.

I just need to put the dream out of my mind and focus on what's important: surviving another day of fighting this war.

[Xyra]

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 22:49:41 GMT

I'm finally feeling as if I'm getting the hang of riding the red drakes into battle. They're intelligent, encouraging and they don't stare at me as if I'm a snack. I am finding pleasure in being useful and welcome, even admired for my work and dedication to the Red Flight.

I am not so pleased, however, with how things have turned out with Gelles and Harod. I want Gelles to be happy, she is as close to me as my sister once was. But I do not think that Harod will make her happy. In fact, I think that if she and him continue as they are, she will end up unhappy as she was with Enrik.

However, I apologized to them both for interrupting their date and I've washed my hands of it. I refuse to watch her self destruct again in order to help someone. I will not witness her dying a martyr. Of course, if she does die because of that abomination; he'll find soon that while he may be a giant, he isn't invincible. He'll go down and hard.

I spoke with Tacq about what happened the other night. When bringing things up to him I always feel trepidation at first. When I bring problems to Gelles it's because I have no other choice and that's only because I'm willing to endure her disapproval of what I am for her help. With Tacq, I am finding I don't need to worry. He accepts who and what I am without question and is usually in agreement with me or is willing to readily forgive my mistakes.

I don't think I could have asked Elune for a better partner than Tacq. We aren't disgustingly in love like some of the couples I see cuddling and even making out in the cities. But we have a mutual understanding and respect that I am still marveling over. The love that I feel for Tacq is something beyond anything I've felt in the past. I think I've finally found a best friend who I can relate to on all levels.

I asked Tacq to meet me on the Aldor Rise entrance to Nagrand and to wear casual clothes. I'm going to make food for us and we're going to find an island close by and enjoy our night. No distractions, no death; just us.

[Sorra]

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 22:49:05 GMT

After Lucean and I spent that night together I didn't see him again for six days. I was beginning to think that my thought of him no longer being interested once he'd broken down my defenses was actually true. And then, when I was engrossed in a book on teleportation magic and their usage of the ley lines of the planet for accuracy, I was startled by Lucean's casual greeting.

I squeaked like a mouse and dropped my book. I really must learn to be more observant of my surroundings when I'm engrossed in a book. He just had to tease me and I felt butterflies in my stomach at the sound of his voice, so I attempted to cover up my nervousness with primness.

I was almost rude when I asked him what he was doing there. He didn't seem to be offended by the question and simply told me he'd come to see me. He took of a majority of his armor then and asked to sit next to me on the couch. When I invited him to settle in, he did so and then immediately pulled me into his lap. He held me close and he kissed me.

I was so happy, yet uncertain. Had he truly come just to be with me? To hold and kiss me? If I'd been denying the fact that I'd given him my heart up to that point in order to save myself heartbreak, I couldn't do it any longer. His simple affection made my heart over flow.

I told him that I'm falling in love, but I assured him I didn't expect him to feel the same. I suppose I told him so that he wouldn't be so surprised by the expression on my face when we're together. I'm sure it's obvious with my every glance that I love him. He seemed sad, but I was surprised that it was because he can't return my love. Though he did say that if he could, he'd want it to be to someone as sweet as I am.

I'm not certain where he gets the idea that I am sweet. If anything I'm a piece of toast with the unfortunate(for those around me), ability to ask questions about anything under the sun.

I told him that it doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure I was lying, but at this point, I'm willing to over look the fact that he'll likely break my heart one day when he leaves me. He's making me happy now and at least he's actually honest about his intentions.

Lucean does care for me, however. He showed me just how much this weekend. I have always done things for myself, though usually only the bare minimum as taking care of myself usually came second to knowledge and teaching. Lucean took me to bed, made such tender love to me that I had to hide my face to cry and then he held me close. The next day he fed me breakfast in bed, gave me a full body massage that lasted for over an hour, sprinkled rose petals all over the bed and made love to me on top of them, and he even took a bath with me and washed my hair and body for me. I felt pampered and cared for.

When we finally left the bedroom he refused to let me stray far from him. If I were reading he was right there on the couch with me, cuddling me close and kissing my neck occasionally as he read as well. When I'd go out to give Frey, my worg, exercise, Lucean would ride along with us.

He would leave occasionally, but when he returned after a few hours time, he'd scoop me up and take me to my bedroom immediately. He startled me the first few times, though after the first time he realized that tossing me over his shoulder was a bad idea because I was so startled by it that I froze his feet to the floor.

He's gone for a few days now, but when he returns I believe I'm going to make it my goal to show him how much I appreciate how he's cared for me. He has commented, occasionally, about the brief glimpses I've given him of what he refers to as my kinky side. He doesn't seem shocked, in fact, he seems intrigued by it. Perhaps it's time to show him more of it.

[Sorra]

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 22:06:12 GMT

Lucean asked me to meet him at the Scarlet Monestary. I was naively believed it was because he knows of my love of books. The monastery has a great many in their library that I'd love to read, but have simply never gotten the opportunity to do so.

When I arrived his expression was different; harder and more edgy that I'd ever witnessed. When I asked what we were doing, he said he was showing me the side of him that I'd yet to see. And with that he walked away, twirling his spear with deft movements. As we walked toward the monastery he casually slaughtered everyone he came across.

I watched in numb horror as he used his powers, which are formidable, to slice, sicken and decompose all the Scarlet Crusaders he came in contact with. I had to use my scarf to cover my face for the stench of the disease and death he left in his wake made me feel ill.

It took him about twenty minutes to make it to the end of the armory corridor. And when I couldn't take it anymore, I crawled away from the pile of corpses he made and collapsed. All that death, all that havoc and it was from just one man; Lucean.

While I was upset that he'd murdered so many so ruthlessly; the only thing I could think of at that time was, "Is he going to do the same to me someday?" And so I asked him. He looked at me, pointed his spear at my throat and said it would be all to easy to do it. I could feel his undead powers pulsing around me in the air. He pulled back his spear and I lifted my chin. If I were to die by this man's hand, then I would do it with dignity. I wouldn't run away like a coward and allow him to put the spear through my back. A part of me was thinking that it was probably best if I died by Lucean's hand since it was obvious I'd misjudged him so greatly.

When he let the spear fly, however, it missed my neck by scant inches and buried itself in the stone floor behind me. I felt tears pool in my eyes, though whether they were from relief or upset I didn't know. And then he said he could never hurt me. And that's when the sobbing began.

I felt broken inside. How could I care for such a man? He is so many things, but it would seem beyond all that he is a killer. The things he does are evil. But I do not~ No, cannot believe he is evil himself.

He apologized to me and offered me a handkerchief for my tears. I asked him if he cared for me. He said he cared more than he thought he'd ever been capable of. He seemed to change then, to become worried and upset that he'd scared me so. I honestly have never been so scared in my life.

He asked me what I thought of him after seeing him as he is in battle and I said with only a small amount of hesitation that the things he does are evil. He agreed. Then I asked him if he thought he would be different if he hadn't died. He said he thought so.

Perhaps it was stupid and foolish of me, but I asked him to come back with me to Eversong. When I teleported us there, I changed our clothing into simple robes, then led him across the river on my family estate to a small island. And when we got there I asked him to kiss me. He seemed hesitant and asked if I was sure, even after what I had witness. I told him yes. And as he kissed me I knew I'd given him my heart.

I am stupid and foolish for believing that anything good can come of this. But as we lay in one another's arms in my bed, hours later, I couldn't help but feel content and happy. I was happy. And that's not something I've truly been for a long time.

He is so very gentle with me. His touch, his kiss, even when he bites me he doesn't break the skin or even bruise me. The man melts me into a puddle. At first I thought it would bother me to sleep with an undead man, but it's not obvious, beyond his cool skin, that he's dead. And since my skin is just as cool, I'm hardly one to complain.

I'm not so stupid and foolish as to believe that Lucean can ever love me in return. He cares, but I just don't think he'll ever be capable of love. And I suppose that's for the best. He'll move on soon, I'm sure, for why would he continue to return now that he's broken down all of my defenses? It will hurt, of course, it always does, but perhaps it's better this way. I don't think I could stand to have him linger.

Stupid and foolish and yet, though I am no longer innocent, still ridiculously naive. Because even now, when I know this cannot last, I hope it does. I'll never have a fairy tale, but even a dark knight is better than no knight at all--isn't it?

I cannot put aside the memories of his evil acts. Those will always be in my mind when I look at him for those things he did without remorse. He only regretted that he'd upset me by showing them to me. Yet I feel that if he can open up as he has with me, perhaps he can continue to do so. Perhaps with my good example he'll see that he doesn't need to find peace in death any longer.

[Xyra] - Little Sneak

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 05:27:56 GMT

Xyra eyed her empty mug, but felt too tired to actually raise her arm to ask for yet another mead. It wasn't that she was drunk, it took way too much booze to actually accomplish that. It was more that she just felt numb inside. Her best friend was dating a death knight and he'd taken her to the Emerald Dragonshrine. Xyra growled under her breath at the thought of such filth in a shrine dedicated to growth and healing.

So distracted was she by this image it didn't register until too late that someone had just knocked her mug from her hand. Snarling her annoyance, Xyra jerked a throwing blade from her belt and looked to see whom she was about to maim--hoping it was that Elune damned death knight. When her sister Zylitha's face came into view, Xyra almost dropped her knife. Then her mother's voice spoke. "What in the stars are you doing, Xyradia?"

That her mother could still treat her like a child even though she was well past that age irked Xyra and she frowned. "I'm drinking, mother. What's it look like?"

"Like you're being an idiot. Didn't I teach you anything?" said Allorna as she sat in the empty chair next to Xyra at A Hero's Welcome. Xyra frowned at her mother who now looked like her dead sister thanks to a meddling mage.

"You taught me that life is sacred," said Xyra, her tone belligerent.

"I also taught you to leave well enough alone. There's a balance to life and it's called death." Allorna settled her staff into the corner where they sat and regarded her youngest and only living child with shrewd, amber eyes.

"He's defiling Ysera's shrine by being there. That filth has no business going there and Gelles damn well doesn't care," groused Xyra as she groped in her pack for a flask of rum.

"Perhaps," said Allorna mildly, "But did you ever stop to consider that Ysera could snap that filth in half on a whim if she felt him to be even the smallest amount of a threat?"

Pausing with her flask half way to her lips, Xyra stared at her mother. No, honestly, she hadn't considered that fact. The more she did however, the more the thought brought some semblance of peace to her tumult in her mind. She smiled lopsidedly at her mother. Allorna smiled a smile that was her own and it almost looked right on her new face. It was her mother despite her looks and that made Xyra feel more assured.

"You're right. It's not like he's stomping all over the place and leaving disease in his wake." Xyra frowned thoughtfully into her flask, then put the lid back on and shoved it into her pack. "All right, I'll smooth things over with them so they don't have me to worry about. Though I'm still pissed the bastard called me a sneak."

Allorna blinked, then covered her mouth quickly. Xyra scowled at her mother. "I'm not a sneak!"

"Xyra, you're a rogue now..." Allorna's voice was strained as she tried to keep a normal tone.

"I know that, but I don't damn well go around manipulating things like that slime ridden mage, Gelki."

Allorna grimaced then. "True, but you are still a rogue."

Sighing heavily, Xyra said, "Yes mother, I know what I am."

"Well?" Allorna looked expectant.

"Well what?" Xyra scowled.

"You have to admit that you don't always do things straight forward."

Xyra's frown slowly softened into a rueful grin. "All right, that's true. Speaking of round-about, I should find Mekaenos..."

Allorna raised her pale eyebrows. "Who?"

A wide grin formed on Xyra's lips. "No one of any major importance really." He was just the rogue she'd hired to spy on Gelles in hopes that the man would find an interest in the paladin and hopefully sweep her off her feet. If nothing else, she'd have a good time learning what Gelles was up to and she wouldn't have to worry that Mekaenos was spying on her instead. Of course her mother didn't really need to know any of that.

Shaking her head, Allorna rose from her seat and picked up her staff. "I'm needed back at the Temple, they're asking me to help heal the drakes as best I can. More and more are getting wounded every day."

Xyra nodded and rose from her chair, pulling her hood over her head as she did. "I'll be there soon to help in the fight."

The mother and daughter embraced briefly and went their separate ways. Xyra headed to the bank and wrote two letters, though one was more difficult to write than the other.

Gelles,

We need to talk. Meet me at Wyrmrest within the week.

Xyra.

Harod,

Meet meat Wyrmrest temple within the week, you'll have your assurances and an apology if you do.

Xyra

OOC: Character Coins!

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:01:45 GMT

Swiped from here:

If you could create a Dalaran fountain coin for your character, what would the wish on it say?

Xyra Lunastar - "I wish I had another gold. And booze. Booze would be nice."

Washue Ravenhoof - "That I could rescue all the needy animals in the world."

Izusa Witchdoctor Extraordinaire - "Wait, why am I wishing for more money by throwing in money? This better work."

Lanfith Stark - "If only the population of Azeroth would suddenly disappear."

Allorna Lunastar - "May my husband be safe as he waits for me and may my only remaining child, Xyra, continue to be the beautiful woman she's become."

Aescarion Blackstar - "More time and more guillible souls; failing that, an enemy to test my blade on will do."

Ki'Sora - "Less talking and wishing, more fighting and sharper blades."

Sorra Phoenixwind - "I wish for my work as a scholar to mean something when I'm gone."

Elisabeta Stormweaver - "I wish to become more than I was."

[Sorra]

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 03:53:40 GMT

**Note from Lucean pressed into the page**

Dear Sorra,

I was just thinking about you, and thought to put pen to paper and send you a message. I hope this letter finds you well. I wish to thank you again for such hospitality you have shown me in allowing me to stay at your home. It really means more to me than I am able to express.

Well, I shall end before I begin to ramble. I shall speak with you again soon I hope. Take care.

~Sir Lucean

**Note written in Sorra's hand at the bottom of the letter** Fresh cut white roses wrapped with delicate ice blue silk were attached to the note.

**A copy of another letter pressed onto the opposite page**

Dear Lucean,

The flowers are beautiful, I love them. Thank you for your thoughtful letter as well, it delighted me to discover a letter that wasn't business related.

I am pleased to know that residing in my home at times gives you pleasure. It feels more like a home than it has in many years. You are welcome anytime.

I hope to see you again soon. Be well and stay safe.

Sincerely,

Sorra

I'm not certain my brain is function as it should any longer. Perhaps I've suffered a mental lapse because of the events of the past few years. I'd say having to witness my parents die as they did would alone be enough to make me insane.

I met with Lucean last night in a place called Sholizar Basin, which is to the northeast of Warsong Hold. On my way there I encountered a few of the local wildlife. A snake bit my leg while I was attempting to blink past it. I misjudged the distance, but I was lucky in that I was not poisoned by it.

When I arrived where Lucean was, he immediately pulled me down next to him and searched for my wounds, gently wrapping them with a bandage when he found them. Then he massaged my feet and calves while I blushed and looked like a school girl yet again. For an undead man he is sinfully handsome.

We spoke briefly of the events at Wrath Gate. I was there merely as an observer, though I would have assisted had I not already been asked to record the events. Lucean's observations of the event made me sick at heart. He admires Putress' work, the destruction that he wrought. I didn't know what to say. And when he continued to tell me that he enjoys destruction, finds peace in killing and spreading disease~

I cannot say why I didn't leave him. How could I wish to be someone who enjoys the death and decay of everything he perceives as an enemy?

I stayed, however. I allowed him to kiss me, touch me, entice me. And I enjoyed it all, every moment near him, in his arms. He is gentle, kind, thoughtful. Even Wyat was not this wonderful with me.

And then I received his letter and the beautiful bouquet of flowers. How do I reconcile with what I perceive of him to what he really is? If/when I do, what will that mean for us? For me? I don't know anymore. For once, perhaps, I don't wish to find out and that is not like me at all.

[Xyra]

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 21:53:24 GMT

Gelles sent word that I should meet her in Duskwood of all places. I went thinking it would be because she needed my swords for something. It turned out she wanted to apologize. She asked me how my date with Tacq was. I was pretty surprised and probably a bit of a jerk about it at first. I figured she was doing it because she thought that's how she should behave.

After awhile of talking though she seemed relaxed and we actually had a normal conversation. We talked about a lot of things. And I finally explained to her what all the scars on my chest and back were from. I'd met her about six months after I got them. She was there when I went nuts and killed every damn Defias in sight, but I don't think she ever really knew why I'd done it.

I asked her the same question I asked Tacq, "Do you think I'm evil?" With Tacq it was just to find out if everyone thought it. He said no. Gelles said no too, but with a sort of quiet acceptance. It wasn't until later, when I spoke to her about her reactions to what I do that she pieced together the reason I asked her if she thought I was evil. She seemed upset and probably a little offended. She can't blame me for wondering though, especially with the way she acts some times.

She still refuses to truly admit it, but I know she has feelings for that death knight Harod, it's why she's trying so damn hard to change him. She didn't realize it until I pointed it out that the last guy she was in love with killed her. Or nearly so anyway. Apparently she didn't realize the similarities until that point.

I love Gelles like a sister, but that woman is blind to herself and to others around her. I swear she only sees what she wants to see.

Though in the case of her fighting in that underground club, I'm glad she isn't aware that I'm there and actually fighting. She's likely staring at the ground and psyching herself up for her fights, which is why she gets creamed half the time. Perhaps Kohl and I need to have a talk about setting up a fight between the two of us. She needs some sense knocked into her.

And now I need to track down Tacq so that I can track down Mekaenos. He's followed me around often enough. I think he owes me a favor and I intend to cash in on it by having him follow someone else instead.

[Sorra]

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 21:56:12 GMT

Lucean likely thinks me insane with the way I carry on. I am not a school girl, I am a woman who has had a troll for a lover. I should be beyond the blushing and stammering when subjects such as sex and flirting are breached. And yet I find myself shy around him; painfully, stupidly so. I feel embarrassed to have him see me so without a word to say when I am educated and have a vocabulary that makes most orcs stare at me as if I were speaking something beyond their native tongue.

And yet, he tells me he has a crush on me. Lucean likes me.

I suppose I should be honest with myself here. Though curiosity of anything new is always a driving force in my thoughts and actions, it's become clear that while Lucean being a Death Knight is what drove me to speak with him, it is not what keeps me speaking with him.

I'm still as fascinated as ever by these people who have touched the Lich King's power and are now returned to our fold, some more rehabilitated than others. But my fascination with Lucean has gone beyond what he is and now focuses on who he is.

How is it possible that someone who, for all intents and purposes, has been made to be a living weapon, can care for another person? I fear that my curiosity in just how deep his feelings can go is part of the reason I allowed myself to be pulled into his lap and cuddled the other night.

The biggest part of the reason I allowed him to touch me is that I do like him in return and it had been so very long since I'd been held by someone, anyone, that I was almost overwhelmed with the feeling of his strong, cool arms around me.

I did score a point against him in our battle to make one another blush, however, and it was quite by accident. I told him that having him in my house, on my estate, made it feel like a home again. It wasn't much of a blush and he was much better at covering it up than I was, but it was there all the same and once he had me in his arms, he admitted to it in a rushed whisper against my ear.

When it was time for sleep, both of us seeming tired, I asked if we were to sleep apart. He was going to suggest we do so, but said that he was open to other arrangements if I were comfortable with it. I almost said yes. The temptation to rush into this is strong; this man, this undead, ethereally beautiful man, makes me giddy at times with just one simple kiss. And yet I feel that to rush would be to ruin this tentative friendship we've established.

And so we parted ways with a kiss and went to our separate rooms. And I stand by my assessment that he does indeed make this house a home for me once again. Regardless of what happens with us, I will keep that room open for him so that he can always have a place to go if he needs it.

Before I retired, I slipped from my room and went across the hall to speak with Elisabeta. She was finally awake. I believe she slept for almost two days straight, only waking to eat and the like. When I entered after knocking I found her curled up on the floor, crying; her journal lay open to the last page next to her.

I have never seen Elisabeta cry. Not ever. Not even when we were young and she would be hurt, physically or emotionally, she never shed a tear. I didn't know she was capable of something so~ Normal.

Perhaps it was because she never had cried a tear in her life, but she seemed almost in pain. She cried silently, shaking and hardly making a sound, but the tears that poured from her soaked her now short hair and the carpet she lay upon.

I began crying too, for what else could I do. My best friend, the only woman who knows all of my secrets and has been there when I've needed her, was in pain. I pulled her into my arms and we cried together for some time.

When we finally pulled ourselves together, she said that she didn't remember any of the things she'd written in the journal and that if that was the type of woman she had been, she didn't want to remember them. It broke my heart to hear that. For all of Elisabeta's faults, I still adored her as she was. And she accepted me unconditionally.

She asked me about our time together and I told her of when we met and how long we've been friends. I told her of all that I could think of and when I finished she smiled at me and said that she was lucky to still have a friend in me. Then she drifted to sleep. Luckily we'd moved to her bed or she'd have slept on the floor again. She is, while now a bit thinner than she was, still much larger than I am.

I finally made my way back to my bed and fell into an exhausted sleep. I took it easy yesterday, only leaving my room to see to Sabe's needs and to get food for myself. I indulged in a rarely enjoyed pleasure of mine; romantic fantasy novels.

Lucean and I once spoke on that subject, speculating that perhaps we are in such a fairy tale, with a knight rescuing a fair maiden. He said that it was more like a dark knight intent on capturing a fair, scholarly lady. I reminded him that I could very well be the old crone in the story. We eventually agreed to disagree on that point. And then he said, "Just a fairy tale." And I felt my heart deflate slightly.

When I feel my emotions threatening to overwhelm me, I tend to hide myself within my research. Knowledge, when it is true, is more reliable than emotions, which are fickle and hard to figure out. At least for me.

Perhaps it's time to head to Dalaran and face my past and my future. Perhaps I won't feel so out of sorts once I have something to focus on; something beyond Lucean. The poor man is likely sick of me already.

I almost forgot: I encountered Verletah in Warsong Hold the other night. Apparently he's fled his wife and is now hiding out in Northrend. I could see on his face how much his mistake has cost him. I wish I could do something for him, but my love for him is no longer what it once was. He still carries with him the pain of hurting me. I told him I forgave him, but I'm not sure he'll ever get over it.

I enjoyed talking with him again. I missed his soothing accent and his warm wit. I felt relaxed in his presence. At least until the end when he, out of the blue, asked about the Knights of the Ebon Blade. I wasn't expecting it or I might have hidden my reaction better. As it was I blushed the color of my hair and stammered an answer. He shrewdly guessed my interest in Lucean was more than just friendly and academic in nature.

It wasn't until I heard the words from his mouth, "Ya gotta thing for one 'o dem deaders, eh?", that the truth of his words truly hit me. Verletah headed to his bed to sleep before his next shift to heal the wounded. And I returned home, his words still ringing in my ears.

Am I falling for a dead man? And why does that thought only fill me with butterflies and a worry that he could never reciprocate?

[Sorra]

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 05:32:55 GMT

I sought to find some peace before my trek into the Plaguelands to search for Elisabeta. I went to the floating island Sir Lucean and I first visited two nights ago, hoping his lingering presence in my mind and the breath taking stars would sooth my troubled mind. I haven't been sleeping well as of late. My worries, Sabe among them, have been too great to allow me the ability to sleep soundly.

Perhaps it was that my thoughts were so focused on him that I seemed to conjour him from the very air. Or perhaps- No. I think he simply happened to pass by there while exercising his flying mount.

Whatever the reason, I was glad for his presence. I enjoy speaking with him. Last night seems to have melded together in my mind as one long, peaceful moment.

Toward the end I voice my questions of earlier in a statement. I told him I didn't realize he actually could perform intimate acts. I still feel embarrassed that I said it outloud, but he smiled his handsome smile and told me that he most certainly can, though he did say that if he were to do so, he'd prefer to take things slow. I told him that if he ever did decide to perform any such experiments in that department, he'd likely have a line of beautiful women willing to assist him.

It was probably the strangest type of flirting I've ever done, but I was so fascinated by it I forgot my shyness around him and actually flirted back telling him, once he voiced his desire for a scholarly woman to assist him, that I knew of a red head who had experience in the research department.

He seemed rather delighted that beyond my blushing and stammering, there is a woman who is capable of witty reparte. I was ridiculously pleased by that comment. Eventually we said good night. I came close to asking him to stay with me, but I held back. Apparently, however, I didn't need to hold back. When he finally pulled the question from me and learned that him sleeping near me would help me rest, he agreed.

I put him in my brother's room which is next to my own. I don't feel it would be right for us to move too quickly with this. I have do so too many times with my past relationships and they have all ended in tragedy. Perhaps knowing him for who he is first will-

Am I seriously thinking along these lines? I am perhaps given to fancy too much for my own good. And his kisses do nothing to clear those fantasies from my mind.

I left him a small note before I left the estate, telling him to make himself at home and eat/drink whatever he liked. I'm not sure if he'll stay nor if he'll return, but with him there the place felt like a home again.

This evening Varrgas and I trekked out to the Plaguelands and after a few hours found Elisabeta holed up in a shack near Corrin's Crossing. When she emerged it was with a flash of light and weapons at the ready. She looked wild, disheveled, but righteous; as if she'd clear the entire plaguelands single-handedly.

She doesn't remember anything. I'm not sure what happened to her that month and a half ago when she lost her journal, but I think the trauma sent her over the edge. She's now the perfect paladin in everyway; loyal, righteous, forceful, yet she seems truly concerned for the well being of others.

Varrgas, being a well trained ambassador, was able to convince Sabe to return to the chapel and confirm what he'd told her about the war and the Argent Dawn's move to Northrend. Elisabeta was assigned medical leave during which she's to have a medical evalutation and will hopefully regain her memories. In three weeks time she's to report to Light Breach in Northrend. It would seem she's now assigned to the Argent Crusade.

Hearing Sabe talk, it's as if she can only remember being a paladin and that anything else she had in her mind was wiped out. I teared up once or twice as she and Varrgas spoke. He patiently explained things to her. She was angry and beligerant at first, but eventually she was swayed into believing him.

I took her back to my estate and got her cleaned up and fed. She's now resting in the guestroom that she always used when she would visit us for the summers. I almost wept when I saw her sleeping, her face finally in peaceful repose on her pillow. I should have known she was strong enough to survive once again.

**A few tears mar the bottom of the page**

[Xyra]

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 22:43:39 GMT

I told Gelles I want nothing more to do with Gelki. She actually attempted to persuade me into believing that she is not a bad person. Right. And I haven't killed people.

Then I attempted to ask her about wearing a dress. And attempted to tell her about Tacq. I got so angry with her. She just can't relax, she can't let anything go. And I'm finding the longer I'm near her, the more I can't stand to be myself. Her very presence screams to me that I'm a worthless killer.

What do you do when your best friend could end up trying to kill you? It's a possibility if Gelki doesn't stay the hell away from me and those I love. Gelles is determined to protect her. I won't kill Gelles, not ever. But she may have to kill me. And perhaps I may deserve it.

I spent New Years Eve with Tacq. He took me to a beautiful restraunt where he discovered I'm a vegetarian. We talked about his memory loss and I offered to help however I can. If Korlyn and Eurekaa can discover a way to stop it or even reverse it, then I'll do whatever I can to help with it.

Then he took us up to the top of the tallest tower and we looked out over the city while Mekamule serenaded us. I'm pretty sure I blushed over that. Which is just stupid because I'm hardly a blushing virgin. Tacq just surprises me with his thoughtful ways and I'm not prepared to handle the care he gives me.

I showed, by pressing my hip against his, that my dress, while outrageously purple and skimpy, was also a deadly weapon. I had Lanfith sew in a holder for my favorite set of throwing knives. He laughed and said Korlyn owed him money. Apparently they'd made a bet on whether I would be packing or not. I had to laugh. And it turns out he found a way to include a sawed-off shot gun in his suit.

I tried to explain to him what he means to me. And what does the man say? That he loves me too. Am I so transparent? Am I so foolish as to try this love thing yet again? Haven't the last three disasters taught me anything?

Apparently not. Tacq isn't a coward, not in any way. When did I become one? I apologized to him for it and told him I loved him too. And the big lug forgave me.

Of course then I raced him back home to show him how much. Right after I punished him for laughing at Gelles' nickname for me.

Captain Longears indeed.

[Sorra]

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 22:25:45 GMT

I cannot imagine a more perfect ending to a night that started out full of sorrow.

I was visiting Silvermoon on my way back to Northrend. Perhaps I was visiting to delay my inevitable return to Dalaran. I encountered the orcish man, Varrgas, whom Elisabeta mentioned once or twice to me before she went missing. It would seem he didn't know she was missing. He seemed genuinely upset over it. I made me wonder just how much he cares for her. He offered to go searching for her this weekend with me.

And then I encountered Sir Lucean. I wished him a happy new year and from there our conversation slowly evolved. Six hours later we found ourselves talking on a floating island in Nagrand. We'd gone there to escape the people who seemed bent upon interrupting our conversation.

My cool lips are still burning from the kiss he gave me. My ears will be permanently red around him, I believe. His first comment about me being cute when I blush caught me off guard. I honestly didn't think he would view me in such a manner. Not that I mind in the least, on the contrary I was ridiculously pleased and flattered by the compliment. It did, however, bring about a swirl of questions that I had the good grace to not utter.

Of course I asked many more foolish questions along the way. I cannot believe I dared to ask him if he's still warm. He isn't; he pressed my hand to his cheek to demonstrate. I feared that because of my frost magic I might harm him. I've come to avoid touching people because even the slightest brush freezes their skin. Lucean seems to be resistant of the cold. I cannot describe how wonderful it was to touch someone again.

Our conversation meandered from his past, what he remembers to mine and how I came to be such a voracious seeker of knowledge. The end of our conversation, when I attempted to persuade him that I do indeed have bad traits, is when he kissed me, catching me entirely off guard. So entirely I didn't think to kiss him back. I made sure to do so when he kissed me farewell.

Perhaps, if I can, I will ask Lucean to accompany Varrgas and myself to the Plaguelands. He likely knows the place well enough and truth be told, if we do not find Elisabeta alive, I think I will need Lucean to keep me from falling apart.

Oh Sabe, I'm so sorry for not searching sooner. Please forgive me.

**The bottom of the page has several teardrop marks**

[Sorra]

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 22:37:13 GMT

I encountered the Death Knight Lucean again the other day in Orgrimmar when everyone was merrily taking presents from under the tree and sharing in giddy, child-like glee their gifts. I watched the people with a heavy heart. We didn't celebrate this holiday in Silvermoon nor Dalaran, but it reminds me of the festivals we did celebrate and I found myself remembering all the times Elisabeta and I would dress in our pretties clothes and dance and drink and sing.

When I saw Lucean again it occurred to me that his name is similar to my brother Lucien's. They do not look alike, thank the Sun, but the name is enough to make my sadness deepen. I had once held childish thoughts of Elisabeta and Lucien marrying and giving me nieces and nephews to spoil.

Sir Lucean is ever kind and polite. He takes my rambling of my research in stride, even asking me what I've learned and suggesting new places for me to study. I blush and stammer when I realize he likely thinks me a lunatic or some obsessed old woman. And then I wonder just how old he was before he became a Death Knight. I always feel so old compared to many of these Sin'dorei that I meet. I'm only barely middle age and yet it feels as if I've been alive for an eternity.

Toward the end of our conversation a young woman named Aerei approached. She is a Death Knight as well. I was horrified and yet fascinated to hear her tell Sir Lucean to "suffer well". What good could possibly come from suffering? But I, being the ever curious cat, asked why she would say such a thing. It seems it's a common courtesy between the Knights of the Ebon Blade. They are all free of the Lich King, but their existence is hardly story book happy and so they encourage one another by reminding each other to suffer their life well, with dignity and honor.

As they spoke, I realized, much to my dismay, that Elisabeta could very well have become one of them. Sir Lucean steadied me, for I must have wobbled. He actually looked concerned. I was embarrassed and full of sorrow. Though I do not wish the Death Knights ill, per se, I think it would be better if Elisabeta were dead rather than her become a Death Knight. Miss Aerei agreed.

And then she offered to look in the registry in Ebon Hold to determine if Elisabeta was indeed among them. I thanked her warmly, made an embarrassed apology for my reaction to them both and took myself off. But not before I finally gave in to Sir Lucean's offer of assistance. Perhaps it is better to not always refuse help that is freely offered.

I find myself fascinated by him. He isn't easily offended by my questions, which is a relief. I mean no disrespect or harm. Rather it is my normal mode when I am with someone I am unfamiliar with. A nervous habit, I suppose, that stems from trying to be a good "hostess" and keep the conversation flowing. Obviously it's a good thing that I am not a true lady, for I would be a miserable failure.

I suppose I've been putting off the moment when I return to Dalaran. Perhaps I am merely nervous of the reaction of those that I once knew there. I am a Sin'dorei, I must be for the sin of weakness and gluttony of my first year without the Sunwell. But now that it has returned, are we really so different from our Quel'dorei brethren? Is eye color truly all that's needed to divide a people?

Perhaps it is simply cowardice that keeps me away. I do not wish to see disappointment shining in my colleague's eyes. I feel enough shame as it is over my past.

And perhaps it is time to simply square my shoulders and do what I should have done when I first arrived in Northrend: go to the only place that has ever felt like home.

I know it will not be the same place, so much was rebuilt after the war, I'm sure it's entirely different. But still, I must know for sure.

I've heard nothing more on Elisabeta's whereabouts and I don't expect to. Perhaps I should attempt to seek out the few friends she managed to make before she went missing.

[Xyra]

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 20:30:24 GMT

It's been far too long since I wrote in this journal. I'm honestly not sure why I'm writing in it now, except that perhaps now, more than ever, I feel the need to keep a record of my thoughts and experiences.

Gelles and I found ourselves caught up in a battle we were not expecting. And when it was all over King Wrynn declared that the Horde were to be destroyed. I am not surprised by this, he suffered at their hands when they forced him to fight in their arenas. But what I think he's forgetting is that while Thrall grew up in such an environment all he did was take his people and leave the human lands. Of course Thrall then came to Kalimdor and started killing my people's forest, but that is another situation all together.

Once we left the throne room, Gelles started saying things that were borderline treason. Yes, it was wrong for the King to say what he did, but to actually declare that you won't serve Stormwind because of his orders? That's just foolish. Stormwind and the human nation is more than just its king, its the total sum of its people. To not serve them would be to turn her back on them all.

Killing the Horde has never been a goal of mine and while I served my time fighting in the battle grounds, I never once made a kill I didn't have to. And I'll be damned if I start now. Horde or not, my purpose is to defeat the Lich King.

Gelles and I had a bit of a falling out, but it seems we're back on track again and she's once again with me in Northrend. Too many other things have served as a distraction.

One thing that is actually a pleasant distraction, however, is Tacq. I cannot decide what I like the most about him, but his easy going nature is certainly near the top of the list. The fact that he's two feet taller than I am, yet acts as if my punches hurt makes him somewhat endearing as well; even if I know better. Of course, I'm not actually trying to hurt him either. And I find that I hope I never will.

It's strange that while I started the relationship purely for physical reasons, I find myself enjoying his company far more than I expected. My affection for him sneaked up on me; much like I sneak up on him. I've yet to decide if he really doesn't know I'm there. He's a convincing actor if that's the case. He takes things so casually, yet he surprised me with his worry over my safety when a certain dark figure from my past hinted that I might not be well.

I close now, for I have little spare time as it is and I still have to seek out presents for Tacq and, of all people, the android fangirl, Mekamule. It's all too surreal at times.

Meme from blindmachine

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:59:27 GMT

Give me a character from any fandom or original work of mine, and I will talk about what he or she or it is like in bed.

There is absolutely one character I won't tell you about and I think we all know who that is. Otherwise, ask away.