we can't ride our bug mounts in AQ20. :(
so.

/dance

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Yup, we have 'em over at Sentinels.

( Okay, we have ONE so far, but... )

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Even writing a summary feels like an insult to my intelligence, because this is the level of writing of a cartoon for 7-year-olds. And "By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet the Guardian" is by far one of the most innocent "plot" points in this issue.

Noteworthy moments:

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( so you wanna be a robot.. )

kay.

i talked to the player in whispers and they were pretty firm in the fact that they were within lore. but you, the almighty warcraftsues, will know for sure. is this?

ETA: the player defended the cutefase by saying that there are the storm giants in Storm Peaks, there's Jeeves, and the AH robot for high level engineers in Dalaran. i returned that with the fact that they aren't walking, talking robots with their own minds and wandering around Silvermoon City. i forgot what was said after that.

A sweet moment of Pilgrim's Bounty with what's left of family. But I felt the House heavy on me. Had to take off after one plate..the room felt close of a sudden. Into the forest to be soothed by the 'green people' as the Tauren call the woods and plants. But I was lonely for my kind, too. Missing Llan, just touching and talking with him briefly in our travels. Missing Nyath, thought of him lately. Preparing for battle. Making room in my mind to let the suddenly-loud voices of others subside.

Preparing for Icecrown with L. And Abbendis. He knows what he has to do.
Interesting that her men call her 'harlot' when they are being tortured...in my mind pops up the tournament's Confessor Paletress, as well, who seems to dislike the wearing of pants as much as I. :)

Dream: secret rites in back rooms of some bustling town. This was right in the middle of businesses and inns, it was a series of rites that we moved from place to place, rooms that were unused or 'under construction'.. we were to keep this movable rite going (like a high-stakes game of cards) without drawing too much attention of the 'regular' people. There were even people right next to us who didn't know what we were about. Rather large crowd of magic-workers, led by some Forsaken and some orders from afar. Who knows, these days...

Caught a glimpse of young Kaldorei girl looking very, very... wrong, like a bat, blue and yellow, grimacing. So ugly and ungainly, and looked mentally unsound, but she'd been brought there for some particular thing she could contribute to the proceedings.

I thought, well, that must be why I've been brought here, then, though I can't imagine what I can contribute.

Today was supposed to be a day of 'alticide' and I did indeed (with difficulty) end the life of some of my toons.

But I rolled a Forsaken priest (to maybe someday work w/ Cliskin again) and the first lesson she learns is such a bad ass statement, it made me remember why I love them so much.



Every single Forsaken has this drilled into their head from the moment they rise from the grave: depend on yourself. Mercilessly practical.

She's a Quel'fail.

Level 8 human warlock, and even glowing blue eyes wouldn't be SPESHUL ENUF, oh no, hers are VIOLET.



Don't even get me started on the fail that is a Quel'dorei Warlock.

We call those Blood Elves now.

I guess, at least, she has the right faction.
That doesn't make it any less of a failure where the character concept is concerned, however.

Additionally, the avatar had black hair.

Lesse, I've done orc, belf, nelf, more belf Sues and one human Stu. But tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I shall tear into a troll Sue for your amusement!

( And we all thought the last one was confusing... )

I hope I can stop my brain from spinning before class tomorrow. Oi.

Dream: the reality behind quests before they rise before my eyes
Bottom dropped out from the scene before things appear: just stand very still
I awoke w/ throat so parched I felt I was coughing up a hairball. Ale for breakfast.

Dreamed of Oummazza expounding thus:
"Nobility of purpose is not actually MISSING just because it takes a moment or two to RENDER the scene. But it is a choice in attitude. Have faith."
Her eyes bored into mine as if she were an Ebon general. Ahhh don't even think THAT. She's with the loas, I pray.

Woke gasping with a face full of the smelly kodo-skin I'd been passed out on.

Wishing for Llan. Horny as hell. He is now in the ice and snow, I must seek him. All things have shaped him into a man, hardened, stubborn but good. Worried about him charging headlong in there. I feel him from a distance, touching me slyly. Grinning back, we'll verify it later... this strange connection.

I usually try to put the best (worst!) ones outside of the cut, but the best ones are loooonnnnngggggg, so you'll have to click to get to them!

How about we start with two half-elves?





( Long Sues are long... )

Totally unrelated to Sues: While I'm a long-time RPer, I'm semi-new to WoW still. How the heck did this happen? Is it a bug? It took place in Silvermoon and the second one is a PvP one.

((Edit: To avoid confusion, just the servers in two battlegroups are down again.))

Imagine that. Another Blood Elf that is made of some serious fail. No, this one is a prize winner, me thinks.
( Onto the Fail. )

Has this been here before? I can't recall and didn't see it.

I don't even.

I can't.

A vampire druid.
6' and 107lb isn't exactly...yeah, I don't buy "not to the point of unhealthy."

...I need to set something on fire now.

In game, of course.

sword of dirt
and flame of water
heavy breeze
and the sheltering fire
HEAR ME

*alarm goes off*
aw hell

(cheers)Now I can stay up late and play with my new phone...Which came with pornographic texts.

That's right, I started my phone up, and I get 9 texts from someone out of the blue. All porn. Mom was -thrilled-. ANYWAY, There was many adventures to be had last week! Me and my buddy ventured to Moonguard, and, well, the rumours about Goldshire are true. Then, on friday, was a 'Noble's costume Ball', that my G'leader made us all attend. There was quite the interesting crowd...Including a half troll, a preist dressed as Whitemane, and SO MUCH MORE! There's also the sues that my friends send me. They find the truly great ones.

Please note, most of these are worth the read, besides the huuuuugely long one twoards the end. Also, most have names unsensored, because they're too funny to sensor.

( These are truly catastrouphic. )

Thank you, Stephenie Meyer, for taking my
$7.99
$7.99
$12.99
$7.99 (movie)
and merch $7.99 + additional wolf items we won't discuss here.

Yes, I said books plural. I was curious. Now my eyes cannot un-see. Thank you for making me so pissed off that I have shot bolt upright and leapt into a salt bath to scrub myself clean.

There are a number of feelings going on that are increasing in intensity with each of the books I read, so I'll be brief: for every time you twisted desire, and depicted a moment of choking/smothering/distracting/blanketing/muzzling/mindfucking/pulling the rug out from under this young female character's anger, just know.... it never really goes away, you know. In fact, this purity of anger just gets more refined like wine over time. It is an entire life's work to pull off the creeping veils of self-doubt, and only anger can un-stick those webs.

And once she gets a taste of it? Fuggedaboutit. :)

I don't think I will be purchasing the fourth book, I have seen all I need to know now. Oh, it's ON byatch! WAR.

The shirtless male torsos and glossy finish of the visual/film (rather than the written) merch are most enjoyable, they are a separate collection of artifacts that I can celebrate with the many. And they free my mind and energy for the battle. But what form will they take, my weapons? That is the question.

I sit like a 1976 banana dictator in a wicker chair beneath the palms, my gun at my side, and ponder the question while spirits take the form of laughing poolboys bringing me drinks on sterling trays. In each of the martini glasses is an oracular answer. But I must choose and construct and uncover my weapon, now buried in the sands but rising. CHOOSE, not just 'pick one'. To envision a REALLY new world involves thinking wholly new thoughts, and that's tricky.

Something that strikes at the very heart of all this need, need, need.
Something that will make 'em..laugh. Blades of laughter and savage guffaws used in the most sacred of tasks.
I hunger for something not so weak and watery as blood. A little chunkier. I'll read some pr0n fanfic to calm down, infinitely better-written.

That's right!

( More Sentinels fail! )

so, about them tamable RPers..

( you wanna tame a druid? )

the lulz is strong with this one, and the drama on the Sentinels forums are high. yesterday the RP Police (as we've been told we are) caught a - get this - Belf avatar who was RPing what?

Half Tauren, quarter human, quarter Blood Elf. or some combination of yes, a TAUREN, a BLOOD ELF, and a HUMAN. NO. i heard about this and decided to see this thing for myself. i walked my lvl 1 RP alt up there and he reacted as any normal person SHOULD react to it: "What the SHIT are YOU? Oh dear god, someone get a gun and kill it." only nicer. sorta.

then the shit hit the fan. BAM my lvl 1 was assaulted by butthurt and nerdrage, and other people trying to defend this monstrosity. the thing in question logs out to QQ while we start in with lore fights. the whole thing is magnificent; word spreads to other quality RPers, who show up on known toons to fight back.

literally we were the RP thugs or something. there was an invisible white line separating us from them. we all stood here in a group looking like a bunch of punks, and there they were on the other end. oh wait, how many of us? .. six, eight maybe? them? three diehard lore rapists and one just kinda putting his two cents in here and there. the fail meter was off the charts. it was a thing of glorious shit.

just.. wat.

EDIT: We won.

Alert the media. Lore Nazis, RP Police; we have won. The Tauren/Belf/human thing has retconned. Changed her name on the RSP, and her description is blank. I do believe we are awesome.

We went into Naxxramas. It was good to do so. We learned much, much. Learned the hard way, but still. It gave us energy.

Thought I saw Llan and hailed him, but it was brief, two seconds. Wondered if that was really him.

That night, exhausted. Fell into the same forest dream and a discussion of dreams within the dream, with what seemed a 'guild' of folk new to me. Dragons helping us... well, that's how I KNEW it was a dream. Normally, they're rather condescending fuckers.