I've been sitting in the dark for the last hour trying to make a decision.  I just can't seem to.

( Read more... )

Elisabeta and I met when we were so young.  She had it all together on the outside and I didn't.  Yet on the inside, I knew the path that would lead me where I wanted.  Unfortunately for Sabe, she didn't have a clue.  We've known one another for a hundred years and yet, in all that time, she never opened up to me about her parents and what happened to them.  I pieced it together, but it still wasn't the same as her trusting me with her parent's deaths.  Instead, she trusted me to be her one confidant and that, more than anything else, told me she was a true friend.

I was foolish to think that working near the Blue Dragon Flight in their current, deranged state, would pose no threat to myself.  And though I always worked with others, it took merely one moment of inattention for me to be kidnapped.  They were rough, but not to the point of death--they needed me alive so they could suck my magic from me.  It will take me some time to recover from this.  I'm not certain I ever will again to be honest.  There are so many things I've now forgotten~

*ink blotch*

Elisabeta came, however.  I some how knew she would.  She came and she pulled me out of the prison they held me in.  She pulled me onto her windrider and we took off for Warsong Hold.  I honestly don't remember much of what happened, but we were blasted apart and I pulled out the stupidest, most worthless, yet life-saving spell of them all: slowfall.  And yet, I couldn't find Elisabeta until she was too far away.  She was dashed against the rocks on the shoreline.  I touched down a mile away, but I swam anyway.  I was so desperate to get to her I ignored everything, including a broken ankle, until after I found her body.

I polymorphed her body so I could carry it.  I hobbled to the Amber Ledge and colapsed there.  A few days later I woke in Dalaran.  They had a ceremony for Elisabeta.  Because she was a corporal and on her way to becoming an Argent Champion, several officers were there to pay their respects.

She's buried on my estate now.  I planted a willow near her grave in her memory.

*tear drop*

I will miss you, my dear friend.  I will never forget your sacrifice, I swear it.  I hope you've finally found peace. 

And now the part I dread.  Informing Jakaresh of her death.  This won't be easy, but it's something I must do.

I cannot imagine a more perfect ending to a night that started out full of sorrow.

I was visiting Silvermoon on my way back to Northrend.  Perhaps I was visiting to delay my inevitable return to Dalaran.  I encountered the orcish man, Varrgas, whom Elisabeta mentioned once or twice to me before she went missing.  It would seem he didn't know she was missing.  He seemed genuinely upset over it.  I made me wonder just how much he cares for her.  He offered to go searching for her this weekend with me.

And then I encountered Sir Lucean.  I wished him a happy new year and from there our conversation slowly evolved.  Six hours later we found ourselves talking on a floating island in Nagrand.  We'd gone there to escape the people who seemed bent upon interrupting our conversation.

My cool lips are still burning from the kiss he gave me.  My ears will be permanently red around him, I believe.  His first comment about me being cute when I blush caught me off guard.  I honestly didn't think he would view me in such a manner.  Not that I mind in the least, on the contrary I was ridiculously pleased and flattered by the compliment.  It did, however, bring about a swirl of questions that I had the good grace to not utter.

Of course I asked many more foolish questions along the way.  I cannot believe I dared to ask him if he's still warm.  He isn't; he pressed my hand to his cheek to demonstrate.  I feared that because of my frost magic I might harm him.  I've come to avoid touching people because even the slightest brush freezes their skin.  Lucean seems to be resistant of the cold.  I cannot describe how wonderful it was to touch someone again.

Our conversation meandered from his past, what he remembers to mine and how I came to be such a voracious seeker of knowledge.  The end of our conversation, when I attempted to persuade him that I do indeed have bad traits, is when he kissed me, catching me entirely off guard.  So entirely I didn't think to kiss him back.  I made sure to do so when he kissed me farewell.

Perhaps, if I can, I will ask Lucean to accompany Varrgas and myself to the Plaguelands.  He likely knows the place well enough and truth be told, if we do not find Elisabeta alive, I think I will need Lucean to keep me from falling apart.

Oh Sabe, I'm so sorry for not searching sooner.  Please forgive me.

**The bottom of the page has several teardrop marks**

I encountered the Death Knight Lucean again the other day in Orgrimmar when everyone was merrily taking presents from under the tree and sharing in giddy, child-like glee their gifts.  I watched the people with a heavy heart.  We didn't celebrate this holiday in Silvermoon nor Dalaran, but it reminds me of the festivals we did celebrate and I found myself remembering all the times Elisabeta and I would dress in our pretties clothes and dance and drink and sing.

When I saw Lucean again it occurred to me that his name is similar to my brother Lucien's.  They do not look alike, thank the Sun, but the name is enough to make my sadness deepen.  I had once held childish thoughts of Elisabeta and Lucien marrying and giving me nieces and nephews to spoil.

Sir Lucean is ever kind and polite.  He takes my rambling of my research in stride, even asking me what I've learned and suggesting new places for me to study.  I blush and stammer when I realize he likely thinks me a lunatic or some obsessed old woman.  And then I wonder just how old he was before he became a Death Knight.  I always feel so old compared to many of these Sin'dorei that I meet.  I'm only barely middle age and yet it feels as if I've been alive for an eternity.

Toward the end of our conversation a young woman named Aerei approached.  She is a Death Knight as well.  I was horrified and yet fascinated to hear her tell Sir Lucean to "suffer well".  What good could possibly come from suffering?  But I, being the ever curious cat, asked why she would say such a thing.  It seems it's a common courtesy between the Knights of the Ebon Blade.  They are all free of the Lich King, but their existence is hardly story book happy and so they encourage one another by reminding each other to suffer their life well, with dignity and honor.

As they spoke, I realized, much to my dismay, that Elisabeta could very well have become one of them.  Sir Lucean steadied me, for I must have wobbled.  He actually looked concerned.  I was embarrassed and full of sorrow.  Though I do not wish the Death Knights ill, per se, I think it would be better if Elisabeta were dead rather than her become a Death Knight.  Miss Aerei agreed.

And then she offered to look in the registry in Ebon Hold to determine if Elisabeta was indeed among them.  I thanked her warmly, made an embarrassed apology for my reaction to them both and took myself off.  But not before I finally gave in to Sir Lucean's offer of assistance.  Perhaps it is better to not always refuse help that is freely offered.

I find myself fascinated by him.  He isn't easily offended by my questions, which is a relief.  I mean no disrespect or harm.  Rather it is my normal mode when I am with someone I am unfamiliar with.  A nervous habit, I suppose, that stems from trying to be a good "hostess" and keep the conversation flowing.  Obviously it's a good thing that I am not a true lady, for I would be a miserable failure.

I suppose I've been putting off the moment when I return to Dalaran.  Perhaps I am merely nervous of the reaction of those that I once knew there.  I am a Sin'dorei, I must be for the sin of weakness and gluttony of my first year without the Sunwell.  But now that it has returned, are we really so different from our Quel'dorei brethren?  Is eye color truly all that's needed to divide a people?

Perhaps it is simply cowardice that keeps me away.  I do not wish to see disappointment shining in my colleague's eyes.  I feel enough shame as it is over my past.

And perhaps it is time to simply square my shoulders and do what I should have done when I first arrived in Northrend:  go to the only place that has ever felt like home. 

I know it will not be the same place, so much was rebuilt after the war, I'm sure it's entirely different.  But still, I must know for sure.

I've heard nothing more on Elisabeta's whereabouts and I don't expect to.  Perhaps I should attempt to seek out the few friends she managed to make before she went missing. 

*Placed with in the current Journal's pages via magical means*

Sorra,

The plague has returned and is not only infecting humans, but everyone else.  Stay where you are, do NOT leave your family estate.  The scourge do not seem to be coming at us en mass as before with Arthas, but it may be only a matter of time.  If you must leave, come to me, I have the power to cleanse the disease if you get to me before it turns you.

~Sabe


Of course I'll be leaving, there is no doubt in my mind I must do whatever research is necesscery to assist our people~ ALL people against this infection.  I teleported myself to the Magisters in Silvermoon after I received her letter.  There I was told the source of the infection: Booty Bay, Stranglethorn Vale, Eastern Kingdoms.  I took off at once to investigate.  The port town itself is already over run, I'm surprised the Baron hasn't shut it down completely.  I arrived in enough time to procure a sample of the grain within a magically sealed jar.  I took it back to my lab in Eversong to study.

As much as it pained me to do it, I used a small dragonhawk to test the grain on.  It went rabid with in minutes, attempting to eat me I'm quite sure.  As with all scourge victims it was even more mindless that in its normal state.  (Though I find Dragonhawks to be surpremely intelligent animals.)

There was never a cure for the plague before, but from what Elisabeta wrote it would seem if caught before the disease turns one completely, which seems to be only a matter of minutes, one can be cleansed.

Is this the Litch King's doing?  Is this what Arthas has been planning all these years, yet another plague?  Or is this something else?  I cannot see this coming from anyone but the Litch King.

I am chilled to the bone at the very thought of what might happen if this continues on.  Unlike last time, however, I am not locked away in Dalaran doing nothing.  I am here and I will do whatever I must to defend our people and our rebuilt city.  I just hope that whatever is required of me, it isn't my life.

Sabe is crazy. 

I went to check in on her and when I didn't find her in Silvermoon, I went to Thrallmar to look for her.  I was told she was out on patrol.  So I found out the path of her patrol and found myself at Falcon Watch. 

Our people try so hard to retain something of themselves wherever they go, it's almost painful to see.  Falcon Watch has fine rugs, throw pillows and hookahs.  It also has dust and the stench of death eminating from everything.

Anyway.  Sabe was there.  She was fighting a Fel Rever.  A FEL REVER.  I don't know what she was thinking, but she was nearly crushed to death.  She kept using her shield and her healing magic and blasting the thing with holy fire and~

I grabbed her and teleported us back to my manor in Eversong.  And then I blasted her with ice and knocked her out.  I didn't know what else to do, she was raving and glowing and I don't know what else.  I don't think she even knew I was there.

She won't talk to me, she refuses to let me help and instead of getting me back for putting only dresses in her bags, she refused to speak to me for two weeks.  Usually she would have laughed it off, then poured ink on one of my books a month later.

I'm not sure what I can do to help her, but I've got to do something.  I'm afraid this trouble with her magic will only get worse before it gets better.  I can't believe her unit or someone else hasn't bothered to try and do something.  Of course, knowing her, she likely doesn't have anyone else that would bother to help besides me.  She's not exactly the kind to make friends. 

I've been enjoying my time at my family estate.  The memories are all good ones and bring me some comfort against all of the bad ones that seemed to have crept in after the invasion.

( Rambling Commentary Ahoy! )

I have been feeling adrift and thus have not bothered to write here in sometime.  Once Wyat's ability to heal no longer caused him pain, I have not seen him but a handful of times.  At first I buried myself in my research once again, hoping to distract from the lonliness.  But I can no longer keep it at bay.

I have been thinking of my parent's home in Eversong.  I had given it over to the forest after the war and never looked back.  I believe that to now be a mistake.  I am going to return to our estates, small that they are, and do what I can to restore them.  My parents were merchants, my father a minor noble with hardly any lands and no money but what he made by his own shrewed dealings.

I do not know where I'll go from there, but perhaps doing my research from my restored home will give me a renewed sense of purpose.

( A Letter to Wyat )

It was nice to spend time with Wyat, even if that time was spent dungeon diving.  I was introduced to the warrior that's been helping him, a young tauren female named Maddie.  She's very pleasant and an excellent warrior.  Gorshakt was there as well; I remember helping him in Hellfire in the past.

In between dungeons, Wyat and I discussed Xyra Black and Xyra Lunastar.  Wyat feared Xyra was back inside my mind.  I told him it was, if that's possible, likely worse, as Xyra's found a body of her own.  Perhaps, though, I'm worrying needlessly.  I haven't run into this Aescarion woman, perhaps her slip up of names was an honest mistake and she truly is not Xyra Black.  

~~ but then why is she looking for me?

Xyra Lunastar is out of the Emerald Dream.  She's on Aldor Rise and is apparently disoriented.  It would seem her sister, Allorna, was holding her captive in the Dream for some unknown reason.

I was told this by Gelles, Xyra's paladin friend, after I restored her voice.  I made her into a sheep to do it.  Mnem's spell was actually very good, she simply toyed with it too much.  So I reset it in the simplest manner possible.  I probably should have warned her, but I was a bit distracted.

I'm telling this backward for some reason.  Before that I returned Arhena the orb.  It would seem she doesn't need it because her friend was returned by other means.  I offered to dispose of the orb, but Arhena wished to keep it.  So I made her aware of the spirit I sensed inside of it while unraveling where the portal would take her, which would have been Naxxramas.

Gelles, it seems, is rather disoriented still by her new form and the Naaru seem to distract her with their song.  I, almost immediately upon entering Shattrath for the first time, devised a spell to block the sound.  It is pleasant enough, but it is very distracting.

I need to find Wyat, he's been off doing something.  I miss him.

((May 11th))

She's alive.  Xyra Blackstar.  Alive.  And going by the name Aescarion.  

I had best start from the beginning.

((Back Dated from May 8th))

I have hardly had time to write here.  I've been more concerned over Wyat's recovery.  I finally tracked him down and after a tender few hours spent together, we went to bed early and woke refreshed and ready to begin the tattooing process.  It took twelve hours, longer than I'd initially wished for it to take, but it's finally done.  The tattoo is circular (of course) about the diameter of my hand across, and a swirling depiction of a phoenix rising from the ashes done in black ink, but at times, when he moves, it shimmers with the five colors of the primals I used.

Wyat held up well, but by the time I was done, he was exhausted.  And so was I to tell the truth.  I've never done tattooing, so I'd been reading up on it.  Elves do it rarely, so I had to look else where for my sources on the subject.

Time will tell how well and effective the tattoo is, but I believe, already, he is showing improvement.  I only pray it's enough.

I must say, watching his muscular back ripple as it does with that tattoo now in place fascinates me.  His kiss, when he finally awoke from resting after the ordeal, was full of love and thanks.  I don't think I'll ever stop falling for my knight.